cgrock24

cgrock24 · @cgrock24

27th Nov 2010 from Twitlonger

Sonny Vaccaro's advice to Roberto Nelson's dad is the best part of Play Their Hearts Out, George Dohrmann book on the Youth Basketball Machine. The advice Sonny gives might surprise some, but his honesty & wisdom shine through in shepherding a family through the youth BB jungle. Here are excerpts from pages 320-322:

As with Joe Keller more than two years earlier, the reception Bruce
received upon arriving at Vaccaro's home in Calabasas overwhelmed
him. "I'm just honored that you would have me in your
home," he said several times as Vaccaro and Pam showed him around.
They took him outside to see the pool and the hummingbirds, and
then they sat down in the kitchen for pasta with Italian sausage.
Bruce referred to Vaccaro as "Mr. Vaccaro," even though they were
not that far apart in age and even after Vaccaro asked him repeatedly to
call him "Sonny." Sonny knew some of the players Bruce grew up with
in Columbus, and they also talked about Connie Hawkins, the former
ABA and NBA star. Vaccaro had met him when he played for the Pittsburgh
Pipers of the ABA;Bruce was introduced to Hawkins after he was
traded to the Lakers late in his career.
Vaccaro asked Bruce about his ex-wife and then about Roberto, but
not about Roberto's basketball skills. How was he as a student? What
athletes did he admire? What were his interests other than basketball?
Bruce looked embarrassed telling Vaccaro that Roberto had recently
joined his high school's golf team.
"Oh, my goodness, that is wonderful. Pammy, did you hear that?
Young Roberto plays golf. How wonderful for him!"
After lunch, they moved upstairs to Vaccaro's office and sat side
by side on a leather couch underneath the window. Behind Vaccaro's
desk was a portrait of former Pittsburgh Pirates outfielder Roberto
Clemente.
"That's my favorite athlete," Vaccaro said after Bruce asked him
about the picture.
"Mine too," Bruce said. "That is who I named my son after."
Bruce struggled to formulate his questions on how to best steer
Roberto's career. He lumped several issues together: choosing a team,
staying at Santa Barbara High versus moving to a more heralded school
close to L.A., and the need for Roberto to play at one of the big shoecompany
camps that summer. Vaccaro let him ramble on, then put his
hand on his arm and said, "Okay, let's look at this one at a time. Let's
start with the camps, because everyone knows that is my thing. I'll say
this up front: Roberto's in my camp right now. I've never seen him play,
but from what I've heard and now meeting you, he has a spot in the
ABCD Camp if he wants to go and if you decide that is the best thing
for him. And, I think, if he is ready, he should go if not mine, then the Nike Camp or the Adidas [Superstar] Camp ....
What he has to do, and it may not be this year but at some point, he has
to make a name for himself at one of the camps. That's where ... see,
there, it's like a bonfire at the camp: You're good and then all of a sudden
you get the attention, and that's where it'll explode. It's not the
same as at these tournaments everyone plays in. There are some tournaments-
Bob Gibbons's tournament or the Vegas tournamentswhere
everyone goes and he will be seen by everyone, but most of these
events, even if he goes to twenty a summer, they just don't matter, because
everybody's not there.
"But I want to stress that going to one of these camps ... he shouldn't
do it unless he is ready. Maybe he is ready now. That is what I hear, but
if he isn't, there is nothing wrong with letting him grow some more.
What happens at these big camps and these big tournaments is that
Roberto gets assigned a number. I know he already has a number from
Clark Francis and these other people, but he goes there and they are
going to all put a new number on him, and we gotta make sure he is
ready to handle that number. It's not important that he gets a high
[ranking] now. That's not important. What is important is that he can
handle whatever [ranking] they give him. Look at that poor kid he used
to play with, what's his name ... Demetrius, right? The worst thing that
ever happened is that Demetrius was [ranked] number one. That poor
kid, people are going to see him as a failure the rest of his life. That
doesn't mean he won't go to college, won't have a good career, might
still play in the NBA. That doesn't mean that at all. But he is carrying
this burden, and it will get to a point, if it hasn't already, where he won't
be able to look his peers in the face anymore."
Bruce mentioned that Nike and Don Crenshaw were pushing California
Hoops and that they were leaning toward that team.
"Okay, now you are in Sonny territory. This is great. From what you
told me earlier, your son has friends up in Santa Barbara he likes to be
with and, you said, he likes to play golf and might play football too.
Well, let him be with his friends! Let him play golf Let him play football!
Nothing is going to happen for him playing AAU ball with the
Pumps or this Nike team, California whatever Hoops. Nothing matters
this year when he is, what, only a freshman? The only reason to do it
would be to get Ben [Howland] and coaches like that interested, and we
already know they are interested. After this summer, Roberto has two
more years of this. Plenty of time. What you don't want to do is break him. You don't want to put him in a situation where he is unhappy,
where he's not playing or whatever. That makes it tedious, hard, and he
could stop loving the game the way he does now."
Vaccaro acknowledged that his advice ran contrary to his mission
with Reebok. He should have pushed Bruce to have Roberto play for
SCA or another Reebok team. "[But] I'm not going to lie to you," Vaccaro
said. "Hey, I invented the whole damn thing, and I am telling you
that your son doesn't need it right now."
Bruce told of St. Bonaventure's advances and how he regularly received
calls from parents or coaches at Westchester, Mater Dei, and
other schools. It was enticing to put Roberto on a team with a chance
to win a state and section title. "If Roberto doesn't win enough games
in high school, could that hurt him?"
"He could lose twenty games a year in high school and it won't matter,"
Vaccaro said. "And he could win three state titles and that
wouldn't matter either. There is no need for him to go to one of those
schools. And, thank God for Roberto, you don't live in Westchester or
Compton. So, maybe that means you don't get in the L.A. Times every
week. So what? You live in this beautiful place and Roberto can just
grow there, away from all this shit."
By the conclusion of their three-hour meeting, Bruce was nodding
enthusiastically at every word. As Vaccaro led Bruce downstairs, he
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After giving Bruce a hug and watching Pam do the same, Vaccaro
said, "I bet one of the things that makes your son a good player is he
doesn't care what other people say about him."
"That's true," Bruce said.
"Well, then, you need to be more like your son. Just be a good father,
stay involved, and don't worry about what other people think."
Back in Santa Barbara later that night, Bruce and Roberto came to
a decision: Roberto would play for Mike Lewis and California Hoops,
but only in events of his choosing. If at any point he wished to play for
the Pumps or Barrett or another team, he would do it, regardless of how
Don Crenshaw or anyone at Nike felt about it.
Throughout the spring, players, parents, and coaches asked Roberto
what AAUteam he had chosen, and his response was always "No one."
"No, I mean, are you playing for a Nike team or an Adidas team or a
Reebok team?" they would say, as if Roberto were confused.
"Not Nike or Adidas or Reebok," he would answer. "I play for me."

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