#SamGabeHSAU -

Gabriel is having a hell of a weird year.

First thing when he comes into his homeroom and there's this guy who irritates the shit out of him. He's all mousy and weird, and he's way too big to ignore. Gabriel's got enough of a short complex without having Bullwinkle there to make him feel even more like Rocky the Flying Squirrel. So he overcompensates, he teases, he tries to get the bee out of his bonnet that seems to have lodged itself there ever since Sam Winchester sat, staring into space, two desks across and one down from Gabriel's favorite spot.

Guy's hard as hell to figure out. so Gabriel keeps clawing at him like a squirrel with a stubborn nut, keeps scratching and biting until he forgets to think about it. Problem with doing something like that is sometimes you end up scratching yourself instead of the nut. And Gabriel begins to crack his own shell, see his own self in a different light. And then Sam stands up to him, finally, and Gabriel knows, then, exactly what's been going on.

He stops with the teasing then, because he is a little scared now, scared to scratch too hard at either of their surfaces. Gabriel's not good at being nice, and he seems to have found away to be nice to Sam, finally. They're actually friends, and Gabriel's not going to screw that up, no way. At least not by scaring the crap out of him by admitting what he's already amazed he can admit to himself.

Besides. despite his hopes and his hints and his best intentions, Sam's just not interested. It's taken Gabriel a while to admit that to himself -- holding out false hope has always been one of his specialties. He mopes about it and sulks about it and is convinced his life sucks for a good long while, and then gets over it and goes on being friends with Sam the way he always wants to. The last thing he wants to do is lose that.

So he embraces the tragic-hero aspect of the story. He'll soldier on, by Sam's side, always looking and never touching. He even brings Sam a frigging girlie magazine for God's sake. And he will live with his unrequited crush for as long as he can, because despite his best efforts Sam means something to him. More than as a friend, more than as a crush. Sam is one in a zillion.

And just when he thinks he's restored normalcy, he hears Jessica Moore saying, "I'm not gonna be his beard."

Gabriel stops. Hopes he isn't seen. Ducks behind the row of lockers.

"Come on," Madison's saying. "he can't be."

"You didn't spend three weeks going out with the guy," Jessica chides her. "He's all he ever talks about. It's insane. Someone has to tell him he's gay before he sprains something swimming in denial."

"I think you're overreacting."

"You think what you want. Personally, I think someone needs to shove him in a closet just so he can come out of it," Jessica says, slamming her locker closed. Gabriel can't even hear the thud over the roaring of his own heart. All the doors he's locked up tight have started rattling at the same time, begging to be opened again. But what can he do about it? He's finally found a way to live with himself. He doesn't think he has the courage -- or energy -- to push farther. Not now that this year has finally started to feel somewhat normal. He won't be the one to push it back over the edge.

Reply · Report Post