#SamGabeHSAU -
Sam walks away from that conversation pleased with himself. He's listened. He's patched things up with Jess and the others. And he's learned something about himself. Or, at least, he's been able to put into words something he's been avoiding for a long time.
He likes Gabriel.
He wants to hang out with him all the time. He wants to call him for no reason late at night and say, "I'm thinking about you." He wants to give in to the urge to reach over and touch the smoothness of Gabriel's cheeks, to tangle their fingers together and not let go. He wants to be so close to Gabriel that he can feel the rise and fall of his breaths against Sam's own.
And he really, really wants to kiss him. Touch him. Slip his hand down along his side and...
At this point Sam realizes two things. One: he is, after all, probably gay. Two: he needs to get to the bathroom before he pokes someone's eye out with his hard-on.
He slips into a stall without incident and breathes shallowly, his head tipped back as it often is when he's trying to calm himself down. But the more he tries to empty out his mind, the more he's imagining his hands sliding through golden hair, lips hot on his, bodies crushed together. It is so damn easy to imagine with Gabriel, as hard as it was to imagine with Jess, and his hand, trying to tamp down his erection, is sorely tempted to start stroking instead.
No. He isn't so far gone from himself that he's going to beat off in a high school bathroom. What finally calms him down is the idea that he's going to have to figure out a way to tell Gabriel how he feels. And if Gabriel doesn't feel the same way, that might really fuck up their friendship, which would be a nightmare.
Sam resolves to watch Gabriel carefully for any signs he might feel the same way. He knows the guy well enough that he should be able to tell, right?
Wrong.
Gabriel doesn't act any different from normal. And why should he? It's Sam who's had the big revelation, not him. A revelation he hasn't shared, incidentally -- finding out Gabriel is bi was enough sexual orientation talk for a lifetime, and Sam is pretty sure that saying "I'm gay" out of nowhere will get interpreted as "I like you" even if that's not the intent, and the whole point is not to say that until the time is right. But Sam needs to push a little harder or he's never going to get anywhere.
He goes with the following tack: "So there's someone you like, right?"
Gabriel sucks up a strand of spaghetti. "Hmm?"
"The guy you like," Sam says. "You never talk about him. Is it someone I know?"
Gabriel stares at him quizzically. "That depends on your definition of 'know,'" he says.
Well, that makes zero sense as usual. "Does he like you back?"
"If I knew that," Gabriel says, sounding a bit peeved, "don't you think we'd be going out by now?"
"Have you told him?"
Gabriel's eyes hold his and there's something riveting and dangerous in them. Sam loses his breath. "Again," Gabriel says carefully, "that depends on your definition of 'tell.' I'm hoping he'll figure it out."
"And if he doesn't?" The words are low, and Sam doesn't even remember taking in breath to say them.
Gabriel leans back and sighs. "Then maybe, when the play's done and I have some free time again, maybe then."
"Why wait? If you like him."
"Cause I can't deal with the drama if it's not on stage. I'll break."
He sounds so vulnerable that Sam can't help feeling a bit defeated. Even if it is Sam he likes -- and he still can't tell -- he won't take the chance of breaking Gabriel. He has to wait.