Tiptoe39 · @tiptoe39
11th Jan 2011 from Twitter for iPhone
#SamGabeHSAU -
"Christmas?" Gabriel's voice trembles. It's not the only part of him that's trembling right now, which isn't surprising considering he's half naked on his boyfriend's bed having just been brought to orgasm by a pair of big, clumsy hands that he honestly didn't think he could love any better. How wrong he was.
Sam is beaming at him. "Yeah. Mom starts cooking on the 20th and doesn't stop until it's time for dinner on Christmas Eve. And Dean's obnoxious and we give each other gag gifts and it's real fun..."
He trails off. Gabriel's expression is morose. "What?"
Gabriel sits up, scans the room and finally grabs a wad of tissues from near the foot of the bed. He bows his head to clean up his mess and says, noncommittally, "Sounds fun. Don't know if I can make it, though."
"Oh." There's no hiding how crestfallen this makes Sam. "Of course, I'm sure your family has its own traditions." Actually, he'd doubted it. Considering what Gabriel had said about home just being a place where he sleeps.
But Gabriel says, "Kind of." He zips up his pants and sits cross-legged on the bed, facing Sam. His face is sober. "It's a holy day for us. A real go-to-church day. Dad treats it pretty serious. So I don't know if I can beg out."
"Oh." The mention of Gabriel's dad brings instant gravity. Sam is starting to picture him as thirty feet tall. "Sorry. I didn't realize."
"Ignorance is bliss." Gabriel squelches the bitter edge to his voice as soon as he hears it. "You haven't kissed me in two whole minutes. Don't you think that's a shocking oversight?"
Sam's laugh is halfhearted. He follows Gabriel's instructions, but the mood is dampened, and the whole rest of the night feels as though it's shadowed by rainclouds.
-
Michael is unsympathetic. Or, rather, he's sympathetic, just not to Gabriel. "It's the one day Dad wants us all there," he says. "He took it hard enough when Luke left."
"Lucy had the right idea," Gabriel grumbles. Michael's eyes burn with anger, but Gabriel has his own store of rage built up. "Think about it. What other father you know only sees his kids on someone ~else's~ kid's birthday?"
Raphael isn't as negative, but that's because he's resigned. "It is the way it is," he says, and that's all Gabriel can pluck out of him.
So Gabriel goes to his friends, speaking carefully about an invitation to go to Sam's without mentioning the nature of their relationship. Again, because he suspects that Sam isn't ready. He's OK with coming out himself, but he doesn't get to decide that for Sam. In some ways, even though he got the guy, he's still playing the silently loyal tragic hero.
-
This is intensely ironic considering the conversation Sam's having at the same moment.
"So I invited Gabriel for Christmas," he says, spinning on an office chair in the living room. It's where Mom keeps her computer, and Dean's sacked out on the couch with lazy eyes fixed on an auto race he isn't even really following. "Turns out his family's mega-religious and he has to go to church all day long or something. It sucks."
Dean glances over at him. "Can he still do Christmas Eve, though?" he asks, his tone one of sympathetic interest.
"I don't know. I didn't really think to ask." Sam turns away, embarrassed at having overlooked that.
"What about New Year's? You could do New Year's with him."
"That's true..." Sam cuts himself off abruptly and wheels around again to face Dean. "How come you're being so helpful?"
Dean switches off the TV and sits up. "Cause I'm a helpful guy," he says.
Sam blinks. "Oh."
"Besides. Gabe is your best friend, at the very least." His eyes flicker up to catch Sam's, give him an opportunity. When Sam doesn't take the bait, Dean clears his throat. "You know. He's either that or your boyfriend. Whichever."
Sam half-turns in the chair. "Boyfriend," he says softly.
And that's it. That's how Sam comes out of the closet to his brother. It's the first, and the easiest, of the many confessions he will have to make.