Dear @PhantomThiefX,

The replies you sent regarding my January 29, 2011 tweets relating to @UberDorkGirlie and the ongoing debacle were forthright and communicative. They resemble the person I came to know, at least virtually, on Twitter. Perhaps if you had originally chosen to present your side in such a manner on Rock the LAN, the general consensus would not be that you were the virtual engineer who steered the Uber Dork Cafe train off of the tracks. Instead, you published a post on January 14, 2011, which attempted to express lament for nothing in particular but really could have been summed up by saying, "I'm taking my ball and going home, but I'm really, really sorry about it." Yes, this may be my opinion, based on my interpretation of publicly disclosed details. There are many people on Twitter who have one. We have read what @UberDorkGirlie has posted and compared it against yours. It should come as no surprise to you then that the consensus has, for right or wrong, sided with her.

I understand you think this is between you and @UberDorkGirlie, but that's where I believe you're wrong. She started out with an idea that grew into a dream. Then she actually worked up the nerve to believe her dream could be turned into a reality. She started the Kickstarter page and decided to go for it. The response was more than she could have hoped for. You saw it and apparently thought you could help. What the motives behind your actions were is beknownst only to you. Was it pure desire to help? Did you see a business opportunity? Frankly, it doesn't matter at this point that we'll never know. The fact that many people were already invested in her dream, though, means that they were essentially investors. Whether you agree or disagree with this point is irrelevant. People thought they were part of it and thusly feel as victimized as @UberDorkGirlie does.

You took the Uber Dork Cafe fundraising to the next level. You came up with the whole auction and merchandising idea. This isn't to say that someone else might not have come up with it, but the point is that you did it first. Thusly, you committed yourself to it and had a responsibility to see it through, whether the result be success or failure.

What exactly happened is something only you know. Did it turn out to be more difficult than you foresaw? Did it turn into a logistical nightmare? Again, only you can say yes or no. During the second of our two telephone conversations, we discussed some grassroots marketing possibilities. During that conversation you remarked to me that the planning and logistics were a huge undertaking. This is exactly the reason I didn't volunteer to become involved in anything more than simple brainstorming and sharing of ideas. I knew that I didn't have the time, resources or experience to significantly contribute to ensuring it all came to fruition. You apparently did think you had all of these things, which is seemingly why you chose to become involved.

Somewhere along the way, though, something went very wrong. I don't believe anyone would have faulted you for not getting involved in the first place. It is after all her dream and thusly her responsibility. You did get involved, though, which means you still bear responsibility for whatever action plans were developed and/or initiated by you. The fact is that she trusted you to help her because you expressed a desire to do so and convinced her that you could do it.

All of this brings us to the present. Something bad happened. @UberDorkGirlie posted an apology on her blog. You posted what seems to be little more than a politely worded resignation from the project. You are right in thinking that certain details should remain between you and her. The business details are not our business. Unfortunately, the onlookers and donors on Twitter watched it all progress, so of course they feel they have a vested interest and expect answers, too. Whether or not you provide answers to them is your decision.

Where you do have a responsibility to answer, though, is to your investors. In this case, we're talking about the people who ordered calendars, t-shirts, etc. During one of our telephone conversations you mentioned that you previously had your own business. If such is the case, then you are fully aware that any business owner or partner has a legal and ethical responsibility to every single person involved in it. You cannot simply shut down operations, lock the door and walk away. You have tax responsibilities, as well as a responsibility to pay your suppliers and honor or refund customer orders. When I said very curtly to "do the right thing" I wasn't referring to publicly disclosing every detail. I also wasn't insinuating that you had perpetuated any scam or committed any wrongdoing. I meant that you should do exactly what she has publicly asked for. You have a responsibility, based on your voluntary involvement, to provide every detail regarding every aspect with which you were involved. This means you must turn over every invoice, order, email message and scribbled note on a scrap of paper to @UberDorkGirlie. If you want to resign from the entire affair, you have that option, but only after honoring your original committment and being forthright about what exactly happened.

Once you've done all of this, you can walk away. I sincerely believe that, if you had been open and honest and said that things spun out of control, exceeded your business knowledge or that you simply didn't have the time anymore, most, reasonable people wouldn't have judged you as harshly. Unfortunately, your decision to say nothing and apparently ignore @UberDorkGirlie's repeated requests for information, which she needs to conduct damage control and ensure her dream isn't permanently derailed, have only succeeded in perpetuating a villainous image. You effectively created the drama through your own reticence.

I do believe, though, that there is still time. You can still step up, provide @UberDorkGirlie with the information she needs, and walk away with some semblance of dignity intact. To continue to ignore the situation will only seal a legacy of infamy on Twitter. Perhaps this isn't of consequence to you.

After all, it's not real life, right? Unfortunately, such is not the case. It is real life for @UberDorkGirlie, the person you promised to help. In the end, everyone else will move on and forget about this. Such is human nature. You and @UberDorkGirlie will not forget, though, and one day, things will come back around to both of you. Call it kismet, karma or whatever else you like, but it exists and it has a long memory.

Only you know exactly what the right thing to do in this case is. Each morning that you wake up and each night that you lie down, only you will know if you did it. So, in closing, I again implore you to "do the right thing". Do it for the girl with the dream. Do it for the people who subscribed to the excitement that you created through your involvement. Do it for yourself. For whatever or whomever you do it, just do it. Then and only then, will it be over. Then, you will be free to walk away.

With wishes for renewed courage and commitment to all that is good and right,

@GeekShui
January 29, 2011

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