NOTE: Please do NOT read this. This is only to put all my feelings down. If you are a reader of mine, I'm sorry that this is not a part.

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About a year ago, it seems, I wrote something about how my life was going and, I feel that my life isn't going anywhere!
Most of you know me on the account of @Astons_Promises and some on @Supermerrygold.

I understand that most peoples lives are not picture perfect, and I know some people who have lives like that, but not any of them have said "my life has gone so far to the wrong area that its no longer livable".

But have you ever thought about someone, that has more then 10 things that have gone WRONG in their life? I don't. But that's because I'm the only person that I know that has had more then 10 things that have gone wrong in their life. And the worst part. Its stained on to my memory for a life time.

I keep my past hidden.
I suffer in pain with it.
No one understands.

If you were to meet my friends, they'd tell you that, I'm bubbly, enthusiastic, or something along that line. But they don't know the REAL truth. I haven't lied, I just haven't told them the things that some friends would like to know. But you see.... I can't do that. If you meet me, you'd thing I'm confident, but I'm not. I'm a worthless little twat that is just walking around on this planet, that's wasting space, but much better off dead.

The last time, I wrote something to either end this or to link it off to another part, I wrote something how JLS play a big role in my life, and it seems JLS are the only thing that's keeping me away from the thought of dying.

But its coming to the point now, where I don't think JLS can keep me away from the thought of being more happy dead. I'm not saying I don't like JLS or they're useless. JLS mean EVERYTHING to me, the world, my life. JLS are everything to me, but its coming to the point where I'm able to (unfortunately) over think that. Meaning JLS will soon, not be able to keep me away from the thought of just not being around.

Personally, I don't think anyone would care. Even if they did, their miss for me would be limited.

So, if I could have a friend that I'd be able to talk to about anything, or would help me. Then come quick, or come now.... Or what is the point?

If anyone decided to ignore the beginning of the note, then it shows you care. And I thank you for not reading it. If not, then I'm not surprised, I'd just go.

Plus, I'm not looking for attention, so don't start hating on me. This is only to put my feelings down. But if you read this, you don't have to comment on it.

If you want a list of all the bad things that have happened to me. Then be my guest to ask. But like I said I won't be surprised if you didn't read this let alone ask what has happened to me, over my life that I call 'hell'.

Thank you!xx

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