hi zayn! this has worked for some people and it's probably not gonna work for me, but it's worth a shot.

okay, so i wrote this because i literally tried everything, like really everything, to get noticed but nothing's working anymore, and i'm really tired of spamming you for nothing. and you seriously can't imagine how much this follow means to me, i know it might sound stupid but it really means the world because that follow is like the closest i'll ever be to you, and i'm slowly losing hope.

anyway, hi again! i hope you're having an amazing day today, and i hope you're happy, because that's what makes me happy. i hope you heard a cute joke today that made you laugh, or maybe you read something that made you smile. i really do, because all i want is for you to be happy.

it's funny right? the fact that i care so much about someone who doesn't even know i exist, how you've changed my life without even noticing, how i want you to be happy more than anything, how a simple follow could mean so much to me. it's even weird, but yeah it's real.

okay, listen, i know that you won't see this, and even if you did, you probably won't be reading until here lol but anyway, i just want to say thank you, thank you so so much. you don't realize how much you've helped me. i stopped cutting because of you, even though i couldn't keep my promise till now, but yeah at least i could stay clean for a little longer than usual, right?

oh and thank you for making me happy at my darkest times, thank you for making me laugh when i couldn't even smile. you can always cheer me up when i'm down, which is like 98% of the time lol.

and most importantly, thank you for giving me the chance to meet all those special people from all around the world, and who have taken a big place in my heart.

so thanking you will never be enough, because without you and the boys, i would be dead by now. you'll never understand how grateful i am to have you in my life.

you inspire me so much. i love your drawings/paintings, like a lot. and the fact that you can draw, paint, dance, sing, and still manage to make everyone around you happy, is amazing.

i love your smile too, and your laugh. just seeing a picture of your smile or maybe a video of you laughing makes my whole day.

and your voice, wow. haha, yeah it's pretty amazing. the way you can hit those high notes, and the way you sing with so much passion and love is just fascinating.

and the fact that you're my absolute everything and that i'm just a fan to you hurts. i know i'll never mean anything to you but it hurts to think that i'll never be the reason for your smile, and i'll never be able to be your friend. but it's okay i guess, at least you're happy.

anyway, you know, i always imagined the times when i was going to meet you. i even made up some speeches, haha. and i really hope that someday i'll actually meet you and tell you how much you mean to me, even though i'm pretty sure it's never gonna happen.

i'll shut up for now, i'm sorry if that was too long! and if you read it till the end, thank you so much! have an awesome day, i love you so much, sunshine, more than you could ever imagine.

- eli
- @izaynsmile

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