John Jones · @jacobjoneshere5
22nd Dec 2017 from TwitLonger
A Painful Christmas, for the Dad of a Victim, His Prized and Lovely Daughter
I am really struggling with Christmas this year. One year ago the following events transpired, when I first learned my daughter was raped by the son of the pastor at our church, and the church, knowing of not only one, but multiple sexual assaults, covered it up.
My questions:
1) What can I do as a grieving and very angry Dad apart from love and support? 2) What can be legally done to stop this and similar churches from engaging in rape, or covering it up? 3) How do I move on, because I can't let go of the anger and hurt?
This is a telling of the incidents leading to the sexual assault of multiple teenage women at the Vineyard Church of Hopkinton, Massachusetts, and its coverup by church leadership. The names are all real.
Some years ago my family started attending the Vineyard Church of Hopkinton. I was reasonably well respected in the church, I led the a ministry. But along the ways, starting in late 2010 (or there about) something started to change there, something wasn't quite right. Too much emphasis on looking the part, not enough emphasis on making faith personal, owning it yourself, and living in truth.
A couple years later a new person showed up: Jeff Biggers, a C-level executive, with his wife, and children. The head pastor Rob Davis was immediately enamored of him, and quickly ramped up his leadership role.
For me, I was extremely anxious at the thought. I expressed concern to a few in private. This didn't feel right, something was amiss. And in particular, at the time, I was very concerned about the youth leadership role his son, Alan Biggers, would play in increasing measure in the church. Something did not sit well with me about him. Too interested in being in the spotlight, way too interested in others perception of him.
Me, I have a daughter, and you can read where this is going...
I forbade my daughter from ever dating, casually or otherwise, Alan Biggers. He clearly was a danger, a threat in my mind, and warning signals went off for me big time.
His father, Jeff Biggers, assumed an associate pastor role in the church, and a long time friend, whom I respected, stepped down, and went on to other things.
Fast-forward to December 2016. My daughter comes in to the bedroom, I had been working late, but clearly something was wrong, and bothering her... I knew something was up for a while, but she would not share what was going on. Now she did. She would recount to me her sexual assault / rape at the hands of Alan. And, that Alan had made a threat to her if she ever came forward. Over the following days I would document dates, times, what happened, in a lengthy document in case, when she was ready, she could prosecute Alan Biggers for rape.
Following it came to light that the church knew about the incidents that happened. And that they chose to violate CORI law and not report the incidents. Involved: the head pastor Rob Davis, the associate pastor (father of Alan) Jeff Biggers, the youth group leader, Meredith Borst, among other church deacons also responsible for the decision to cover it up. For six months they knew about these incidents. And they chose not to report them, nor did they inform the parents. Meanwhile the children were not receiving counseling for what happened to them.
The youth group leader, Meredith Borst, privately disclosed:
"I think God will have a consequence for Rob.... Jeff and I had another disagreement over another incident about reporting. I wanted it to go to the board, but that did not happen. I foolishly trusted Jeff.
Three things here. First, the current set of sexual assault incidents were not the first. Second, the youth group leader here, rather than following the law, which mandates she reports the incidents, fails to do so, allying herself to the church and its leadership. Third, that a person in a position of leadership, and the father no less of the perpetrator, actively hid the truth.
Following the incident, we confronted the church, and well, nothing happened. A waving of hands.
I confronted the area leader of the Vineyard, Don Andreson, requesting that Rob be removed. He said it was a local affair, engaged in hand-waving, nothing changed.
My daughter, fearful of Alan Biggers, of the threat, would not come forward.
All those involved that should have been prosecuted for their failure to report the sexual assault, got away with it. Likely, knowing my daughter would not come forward for fear of Alan, decided to do nothing, banking on the fact it would likely blow over.
It's now a year later, and I am still dealing with feelings of anger, intense pain at what my daughter went through. And while I would like to take my children to a carols service, similar to those I attended as a child, I cannot. I struggle, to reconcile the wonderful experiences I had with my Grammy, singing carols, with the present reality. To me, I've also lost faith. And now, would declare, "God is dead."
Severely Hurt, Anguish, Angry, and Disillusioned