BalrogGameRoom

balrog · @BalrogGameRoom

27th Jul 2020 from TwitLonger

Important update on videos/streams


Hey everyone! Today I have some difficult news to share. I have decided that I will indefinitely exit from gaming content creation via my videos and streaming. I need to let it go, at least for now.

I’ve recently been having serious digestive issues and I’m not really in a well-enough place to be making content. I thought about taking a break while sorting this out, but it’s no secret that I’ve been burnt out from video content for a while now. I also took a month break from streaming and during this time - as fun as it was - realized my burnout had reached here too and would be at peace pulling the plug.

A lot of my burnout comes down to life priorities changing - since I dedicated so much free time to YouTube over the years, I was very focused on short-term goals and what was directly in front of me. However when I got laid off from my day job in mid-2019, I spent the time I was unemployed doing a lot of soul-searching and brainstorming ideas for my future. It was then I decided that I want to go back to school and focus more on non-gaming hobbies that I've been putting off. I really should’ve worked on these hobbies when I had all of that spare time, but continued to work on videos and put these to the side. It was a bad idea and it amplified my content burnout to the point where I can hardly work on it at all right now.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about my mental health and the effects this kind of content creation has had on it. The turbulent environment caused by YouTube’s everchanging rule of success had me constantly battling impostor syndrome. The algorithm is more strict than ever, where one underperforming video can toss you off many viewers’ homepages - a system that can punish creating ambitious or varied content. Having all these added restrictions for something I considered a hobby.. made said hobby a lot more stressful than fun. Twitch had given me more freedom, but some of these worries from video content creation had even affected the way I approached streaming. I am concerned that if I were to come back refreshed and raring to go a while from now, it would be really easy to fall back into this mindset. I think that for now, I should focus on hobbies that are in an environment where it isn’t as easy to happen.

When I look back on it all, I think I've accomplished everything I wanted for this flavor of content creation anyway. I’ve scrapped so many scripts because I felt like what I had to say had already been said by me in the past. I’ve made so many wonderful friends that share a similar love for gaming that I do. And I got to inspire and entertain so many people all over the world. Maybe a new passion will lead me back to it one day, but I’m happy with what I've done and am okay with leaving it here.

That said, there’s a few more details I'd like to discuss. Regarding socials like Twitter, I’d still like to keep in touch! I’m sure I’ll tweet every once in a while, pop in my mentions, or talk to friends here from time to time. Maybe a couple RTs too, but my online presence on socials is probably going to be sparse like it is now.

Regarding the XY review, it’s in the air right now. If it releases, it will likely be my final video - at least for a long while. The script is great and I think it’s my best video ever. I will make a final decision in the future if I will film it - and if it doesn’t get released, I will make sure the script or a rough video draft finds its way online. It is a story about moving on to your next big adventure. And making peace with your previous one - including all the highs and lows.

Regarding streaming, I have two streams left. One of them will be Meme Run 2 - the creator was nice enough to send over a copy since I covered the original many moons ago! He also sent a care package which I am very scared (yet intrigued) to open.

Then at a later date, I will be doing a Final Stream - where I’ll play Clubhouse Games and likely finish up Mario Sunshine. It will be a fundraiser stream for victims of sexual violence, and all donations will be sent to the Joyful Heart foundation. Due to health issues I have good/bad days, so I’m unsure what days these streams will be til the day-of. Please check my Twitter for updates. Hope to see you there!

Unfortunately, I said a while back that I’d do an 8-hour Sonic stream, but as things are I won’t be able to keep that promise and I apologize. We were able to donate to a good cause and I think that is better than any stream could be. If I come back to streaming one day, I will be sure to do this stream. Also if you are currently auto-subbed on Twitch, please remember to cancel your subscription!

So… to bring this all together, the big thing for me right now is just letting go and taking the time to strengthen my mental and physical health. Maybe these will lead me back to gaming content one day, but for now it’s important to me to do this. Thank you so, so much for all the love over the years. You made every step of this journey worth it. I’m sad that I couldn’t keep all my promises for content - but I guess that’s just how moving on is. It happens when there are still so many things left to do. I hope you all try to take care of yourselves in these trying times. I wish you all the best.. now and forever. To end this post, I’m going to post the final scene from the XY review’s script.

“When you start something new, there’s so many things to learn - it can seem overwhelming.. But I’m ready to get started. To close the story of the game room... and start a brand new adventure!! And with this one, I won’t just stop at games… for my creations, the Balrog that showed me the way, and even you.. I’ll continue to discover.. How great life can really be. An adventure without a manual.. an adventure that never ends. So until we meet again, this is Balrog signing out!”

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