I wrote this with a much darker purpose, but I'm using it as a beacon of hope ❤

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I ain't reading all that I'm happy for you though or sorry that happened

There I said it, now you don't have to.

The people I've come closest to know I've been locked in a battle with depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder for the last 8 years. I've been fighting as hard as I can for lifestyle changes to better myself, to no avail. My family doesn't understand it in any way, my real life friends can no longer deal with the emotional tax that comes with knowing me personally, and frankly I don't blame them for it, the blame has always come back to me. The most support I've gotten in life that hasn't faltered has been from this community, which I guess is why I'm making this post here and not Facebook. There's a lot of names to mention, so I'll hit as many as I can.

Miguel/Bufarete- From the first day we shared a DM, this man has shown me nothing but kindness, even in his leave from the CR community he has supported me knowing I can't return all the things he has done for me. I don't know if you in particular will see this, but I couldn't do this and leave you out. You're the man Miguel

Tim/CWA- You've given me more good advice than I could make a list for, I'm just sorry I wasn't able to apply more of it. You're an excellent role model for this community, as well as any community you step into. Even through your own adversities you do not falter in our eyes. Pure respect.

Jake/Tag- Jake was the first person to ever reach out to me in the 15k tournament era, and got me involved in competitive Clash when I was at my worst on a downward spiral. I truthfully have no idea where I would be today if this didn't happen. Thank you for the new lease on life you gave me.

Rambo- There hasn't been anyone I've been able to confide in more than you. I don't feel comfortable calling anyone else brother here because it would diminish the emphasis of it when I say you're my family. You're one of the primary reasons I made it this far. I hope to see you do incredible things

Oxalate- It pisses me off that I held a grudge against you for so long just because you knocked me out of a CCGS Qualifier finals. Once I got over that shit I realized how stupid it was in the first place, and your stream has been a constant go-to whenever I was feeling down. Thank you

Alex/W7ngs- Thank you for giving me the opportunity to play for Misfits in the first season of CRL. I let my depression get in the way of my performance, and despite that you were there to answer my frantic messages at 2am when I didn't know how much longer I could keep myself alive. My main regret is letting my relationship with Misfits fall apart the way it did, because I was certain I'd end my life.

JoseVTS- I've never been able to properly thank you for the emotional support you gave me during CRL. Even when I was collapsing on the inside you gave me the confidence to keep going and not give up on myself. I can only apologize for not being able to see that through the clouds in my head. You were an amazing coach.

Regue- You were a great friend to me during our time in CRL, and it pains me that something as simple as living alone in a separate apartment got in the way of me being appreciative of everything you guys tried to do for me. That goes for you too Peppe and Playz. I'm sorry I failed the team, we could've been so much more.

DiegoB- You're probably the best player I could call a real life friend. I miss the times we hung out on discord, or at waterparks, though I'm sad it won't happen again. I know you go will far in life, good luck

Spades- You let me unload my problems onto you way too much. Shame on you. In all seriousness, thank you for never bailing on me. I hope you find happiness.

Belikin- You've always been a nice guy and a good influence on me, especially from the day we chatted a bit at CRL orientation. We never got explicitly close, but you've always been a memory I can look back on and smile. Thank you Beli.

Goatz Discord- The amount of nights I felt suicidal and jumped into a discord call here is kind of embarrassing, thanks for all the late night grinding.

Caro- We never got close but it was nice to finally meet you at World Finals, and all the shitty memes we've shared have made me smile and laugh, which I'm thankful for. Keep doing eSPORTS!

The whole World Finals gang I stayed with- Sorry if I'm missing any names but Chavez, Bryaant, Kyle, Braden, DaJuicyOne, Chache, and Spades, this was one of the best experiences of my life and I'm glad we made it happen.

Star Light- We've not really seen eye to eye on a lot of things, but I can always appreciate the perspectives you've brought me, and you being a voice of reason. Head up, keep grinding.

My community and followers- The amount of support I got right out of the gate just for being good at a game will never fail to surprise me. You guys have been amazing, even where I've failed. I'm sorry I never capitalized on this support and became the positive creator I wanted to be, but maybe that can change in time

Brawl Stars peeps- I never got too involved with this community, but I never felt unwelcome when I poked my head in and for that I'm thankful.

This is the internet and there's bound to be trolls, so if they start with their shit on this post, don't fight them. Just ignore them, they may learn a thing or two.

Thanks for reading, Cam/ThatOneGuy

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